We all like to think we’re good lovers, but in reality, most of us know there’s room for improvement. After all, how we enjoy sex is integral to the quality of any committed romantic relationship. It’s the thing that puts that twinkle in your eye when you look at each other the next day, because you both know you’ve shared something special together.
Some people are embarrassed to talk about lovemaking, especially with their partners. How the man or the woman views this experience, is often programmed into them from an early age by the perceptions of a parent or caregiver and confirmed through life’ experiences. But like anything in life, if you want to achieve enjoyment and fulfilment from it, you must be prepared to talk about it.
Like any other art, you need to practice the art of lovemaking in order to become really good at it. In this regard, men and women have different perceptions of what being a “good lover” ia all about. If you ask a man, he will focus on technique and results, such as “she had multiple orgasms”. But if you ask a woman, she will remember the setting and atmosphere leading up to the lovemaking. So if we want the most memorable lovemaking experience, we need to take both the above into account. The secret is to become creative. Music, smells, lighting and colours all combine to produce the most sensually arousing setting for the most memorable lovemaking.
The art of lovemaking is about intimacy and this comes from openness and trust. It is so important to communicate with each other. When you feel a heart-to-heart connection with your partner, your lovemaking can be pure ecstacy. So we have to learn to be honest and let your partner know exactly how you feel. We cannot overemphasise the importance of foreplay in the art of lovemaking. Sometimes we can be so focussed on reaching orgasm that we forget to simply enjoy the pleasure of lovemaking. Instead, we only experience frustration. This is especially likely when lovemaking no longer seems like an adventure of doing something different together. It becomes routine. But can you imagine having sensual foreplay without actually having sex?
Men need to realize that woman want to be loved all over. You need to taste each other, touch each other, see each other, smell each other, hear each other. These are the five senses and if we use them all, it will not only draw you closer, you will also want each other more, leading to an explosive climax. Then there are the “errogenous zones” – those pleasure zones in numerous parts of our bodies. Why does a woman sigh when a man whispers into his girlfriend’s ear? The truth is, most men, as well as women, can become aroused when their partner pays attention to certain special spots beyond the genitalia. The key to foreplay lies in the stimulation of the major and minor errogenous zones.